Book Review.
Callanan,
Maggie. Kelly Patricia. Final Gifts.
Understanding the special awareness, needs, and communications of the
dying. Poseidon Press, 1992
M.C. and P.K.
- Both ladies have had extensive experience as hospice care givers.
Comment. Henry.
In this
resource the authors (hospice nurses) share from their extensive experiences
with dying people gifts of insights and understanding that are significant in
making dying a special experience for all concerned. The bulk of the book consists of stories
about how dying people dealt with their end of life. I think this book is a very helpful for
anyone dealing with the anticipation of death.
“Irrespective of belief, age, or diagnosis of the dying person, ‘Final Gifts’
conveys the awe and profundity of the moments surrounding death that we all
feel.” Madalon Amenta.
“These
messages (of the book) fall into two categories: attempts to describe what
someone is experiencing while dying and requests for something that a person
needs for a peaceful death.” (14) The
stories related in the book come from individuals who have been recipients of
hospice care. They confirm the validity of the expression ‘putting you house in
order’ when it comes to end of life priorities.
The
reactions to death are consistent with personal characteristics. There
will be “shock, disbelief, fear, anger, sadness, - or as often occurs, a
continuously shifting blend of these and other strong emotions.” (31)
The end of
life experiences are sometimes described as some form of preparing to go on a
trip. Often this involves others, those
who have gone before. They become aware
of an actual place to which they are going.
Sometimes they even know when they will leave.
Often
specific needs are expressed that are important for a peaceful death. It will require sensitivity on the part of
the care-givers to know what is requested.
There may be the need for reconciliation, getting permission to leave,
etc. Requests can be nonverbal. Dreams
become symbolic. Unmet needs may delay
the timing of death.
Some very
practical issues are suggested for those who care for the dying. “Pay close attention to everything the dying
person is saying. Remember that there
may be important messages in any communication, however garbled or vague.” Don’t be too quick to label these messages as confusion. “Accept and validate what the dying person
tells you.” (226)
“Life is
eternal, and love is immortal, and death is only a horizon, and a horizon is
nothing save the limit of our sight.”
Rossiter Worthington Raymond.
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