Stuck

Book Review

Rufus, Anneli.  Stuck.  Why we can’t (and won’t) move on.  Penguin Group. 2008

AR- is a critically acclaimed author of four non-fiction books.  She is an award winning journalist and poet.

Comment.  Henry.

My personal take on the reading of this resource was that ‘stuckness’ is very prevalent and by and large a negative thing.  There are many aspects of that view that I resonate with.  Some ‘stuckness’ is permanent, in my opinion, e.g. a handicapped child, an ailing spouse (till death do us part), etc.  To suggest ‘resignation’ in our stuckness is not an acceptable option in our selfish culture.  I appreciate the counsel given by the author but in my experience I have received significant help from a source that is totally absent in this thesis; divine help.  In fact I find Anneli’s example of Jesus being “the ultimate beautiful loser” (199) offensive and unacceptable. 

In a culture of unprecedented opportunities we become ‘stuck’ when it comes to the adjustments to unavoidable change.  We can’t or won’t change.

We are stuck in the past.  “The trouble with being stuck in retrospect is that it (becoming unstuck) cannot be done without pretty much abandoning the present and the future.” (53) 

Zen (Buddhism) is suggested as an example of getting stuck in the present.  Instant gratification becomes a huge factor in our ‘present’ stuckness.  “The more infantile we are, the more we are stuck in the present.” (71)  We get stuck in habits which we justify by calling them diseases.  That conclusion creates more new problems. 

Becoming stuck in the horror of trauma is very common.  “Contrary to popular beliefs, we are not prisoners of our past.”  Seligman.  We can move on.  Trauma is popular because it is political, e.g. Marxism, it is a huge success on the Oprah Winfield show.  It is glamorized and diagnosed as a sickness.  Christianity is portrayed as an example of positive trauma.  “Jesus was idolized because he was a victim- the ultimate beautiful loser.” (199)  Religious trauma, e.g. Satanism, became very popular in the 80’s and 90’s of the last century.

“We are genetically coded to stick together” (262 and this accounts for our need and thus ‘stuckness’ of/on people.  

A form of stuckness in the present is being stuck in our job(s).  Debt contributes to this stuckness.  Quitting is a form of giving up.  ‘Work stuckness’ is a form of slavery.

Being stuck is nothing new.  Becoming ‘unstuck’ is “about tracing that stuckness back to how it started” (318) and making choices that will help us to become unstuck.

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