When God's People Let You Down.

Book Review.

VanVonderen, Jeff. When God’s People Let You Down. How to rise above the hurts that often occur within the church. Bethany House Publishers. 1995.
J.V.- pastor, speaker, writer, counselor.

Comment. Henry.
The church is often defined as a family of God made up of members of one body. There are many people for whom this ‘family experience’ has not been a happy and/or fulfilled one. In fact they have experienced serious hurts from fellow members. It is these experiences that are being addressed in this book.

Scripture sets high standards for relationships between fellow believers. High expectations set the scene for high disappointments. The author seeks to explain how these ‘problems’ develop and how it is possible to rise above these hurts and live fulfilled lives within healthy productive relationships.


Few people seem to escape damaging relationships in their church experience. Unity in any (church) family requires mutual respect, support, and encouragement. When it happens personal needs are met. “We must become what we claim to be.” (44) When the “one anothers’ of Scripture are practiced they result in spiritual growth because needs are met.

When those who say they care are not available, when favoritism is practiced, and when people feel let down by their leaders, hurts are experienced. The gift of spiritual leadership has potential for spiritual abuse.

Basic to successfully dealing with hurts is an understanding of the origins of the hurts. We must avoid the victim mindset even to the point where we blame ourselves for the hurts. “Healing and recovery begins when we reach a point where we take responsibility for our movement from victim to victor.” (140) This is a process that requires an understanding of how ‘God’s will’ impacts our lives. We must let go of attempts to control others. The steps involved in our healing are similar to the steps of the grieving process. It is not without risks.

The goal of this author is to present information that will be helpful to those who have experienced hurts and want to see relationships restored as members of God’s family (the church). Restoration and reconciliation can and should happen.

The information presented in this book has (in my opinion) an application to hurts experienced in families by family members.


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