He-Motions

Book Review

Jakes, T.D. He-Motions. Even Strong Men Struggle. Strength for Men, Solutions for Women. G.P. Putnam’s Sons. 2004.

Comment. Henry.
The “Bishop” writes like he preaches, in your face. In this book Jakes is addressing ‘guy things’. The presentation comes out of a very Afro-American culture and grid. T D speaks (writes) from his personal experience as a pastor of a mega church, many counseling opportunities, and a rich entrepreneurial career. He is a much sought after speaker especially for large gatherings of men. A good resource for personal counseling for men (and women).

“How can we transform (our mind) what we haven’t informed.” (24) “The true net worth of a man can’t be repossessed.” (27) We cannot take care of others until we have learned to take care of ourselves. Taking care of ourselves will require a discovery of our own potential.

The discovery of one’s calling is preceded by the discovery of one’s purpose. Eight questions are posed to help discover this purpose. We have a responsibility to take risks to maximize our potential. To not take risks is a greater tragedy than to fail at those risks. Experiencing your purpose in life is a process. It will require passion. It will be threatened by obstacles, ‘giants’. Right choices are a huge factor in overcoming these ‘giants’.

“Taking care of yourself is the best gift you can give those who love you.” (76) Fitness in every area of your life is a worthwhile goal. Although life is sometimes compared to the four seasons, these seasons can be repeated in various stages of a person’s life. Changes that have to be made will embrace each season.







The relationships of father/son (daughter) are explored. Fatherlessness, in whatever form it comes, is a huge problem in our culture. Playing the blame game does not address this problem effectively. Suggestions are given on how to do our part as fathers.

The challenges and value of male friendships are discussed. A good friendship is described as a “covenant relationship”. (157) e.g. David and Jonathan. It is a relationship that is developed not jumped into. “A man needs a friendship where there is no dependency, no power dynamics, just mutual respect and understanding.” (178) There are various levels of friendships. Being vulnerable does not mean being unprotected.

The man and wife relationship is discussed. “Both partners in a marriage have needs; feed each other well and you will both be satisfied.” (204) Clarity is very important for a couple when it comes to financial matters. If necessary, get help with managing finances. “Sexual harmony” (245) between husband and wife is discussed.

The relationship between men and their children is discussed. “The key to being a good father to your children emerges in the staggering simplicity of taking care of yourself, being authentic with your children, and spending exorbitant amounts of quality time with them.” (271)

Being successful in all of the above mentioned areas of life is very much dependant on a man’s relationship with God. Without this foundation no structure has a chance to remain sound and permanent.