The Relationship Principles of Jesus.

Book Review

Holladay, Tom. The Relationship Principles of Jesus. Zondervan. 2008
T.H.- teaching pastor at Saddleback.

Comment. Henry
Tom is Rick Warren’s brother-in-law. This book has been written in the same format as the ‘4o Days of Purpose’ book. Each day some aspect of relationship is discussed under six general principles. Questions are provided to stimulate interaction in small groups. This is a very relevant resource focused relationships, something everyone is into.

When Jesus was asked about the most important command(s) his answer focused on relationships, with God and with others. Relationships always come with risks. Nothing can compare with the values that arise out of relationships. “Lesser values take less faith and less effort.” (33) Love God with ALL your heart, soul, mind, and strength. To love someone is taking a huge risk, however, you lose more by not loving. When we love we cannot limit the extent of our love but we must limit the expression of our love.

During the Last Supper Jesus added a new commandment; ‘Love one another as I have loved you’. This is impossible without God’s power. This love that Jesus commands is an action not an emotion. It must become a daily choice. When emotions become indicators of problems we must act quickly and decisively. Choosing fellowship and forgiveness are part of Jesus’ command to love. Loving involves acceptance and sacrifice.

“All relationships are fueled by communications.” (138) They are built on a foundation of trust. There must be consistency between what we say and what is in our heart. We must be honest (in love). Prayer fuels communication.

We are to be nonjudgmental while we “reject hypocrisy, choose integrity, and show mercy”. (199) We must trust God to be the final, just judge. Knowing that we are forgiven will make us less judgmental.

There is no challenge like the challenge to be humble. The need to be noticed seems to be woven into the very fabric of our being and can quickly become an addiction. In a culture of comparisons and competition humility is very uncommon. Understanding the analogy (parable) of the vine and the branches helps us understand a position of dependence and humility.

As we genuinely meet the needs of those around us we find that our own needs are met. This is how the Golden Rule works. The application and practice of this rule requires sacrificial love. How else can we ‘love our enemies’?