It's Not My Fault.

Book Review

Cloud, Henry. Townsend, John. It’s Not My Fault. The No-Excuse Plan to Put You in Charge of Your Life. Integrity. 2007

Comment. Henry
These authors have had a rather lengthy history of writing self-help material for people wanting to deal with personal problems. Here is another practical resource. Their approach is direct and simplistic. This is an easy read. The mind-set ‘you can do this’ is very strong in this resource. Eight principles are presented that make up the ‘No-Excuse Plan’. What seems to be missing here is the concept expressed in the ‘prayer of serenity’. There are limitations when it comes to self-help.

We live in a culture of blame where there are “those who take responsibility for their lives, and those who don’t” (Introduction). The goal of this book is to help those who need to take responsibility for their lives.

Blaming others (not taking responsibility) began in the Garden of Eden. Having the freedom to choose makes us responsible and that creates fear in some people. “Deal with life as it is.” (19)

How we think is crucial to who we are. Since we can learn to think differently, we can change. Several “distorted-thinking statements” (38) are reviewed, e.g. I can’t, defensive thinking, etc. Better thinking involves accepting reality, being humble, knowing who you are, forgiving and focusing on realistic goals.

Accepting the reality of many choices is fundamental to accomplishing goals. A number of “choice-discovering models” (73) are presented. Choices help us enlarge our circle of freedom.

Change is inevitable so make it your friend. Two types of change are discussed, “change of outcome and change of approach”. (98) We must learn how to deal with our fears. This requires stretching and risk-taking that is motivated by thinking and doing.

We all have been designed with a need for connectedness. Connectedness provides the fuel to reach our goal of being in charge of our life. Examples of fuel are God, relationships, information and resources.

“Get in charge of your time by saying no to distractions.” (157) Avoid toxic people. They are envious, negative, controlling and very needy. Be aware that some ‘projects’ may be worthy but untimely. Saying no prevents co-dependency. Say no to excuses.

Failure is a normal part of success if you take ownership of failure and use it to learn. Deal with failure and than be done with it. (Let it die.) “Only the best fail.” (200)

To be in charge of your life it takes persistence and perseverance. Some interesting stories are related illustrating this concept.

Dreaming, hoping, and setting goals are the beginning of dealing with the blaming game. By way of conclusion the authors have identified five “critical areas of life in which blame-thinking can be destructive”, (232) love, work, parenting, relationships and bad habits and personal issues.