Everybody’s Normal Till You Get To Know Them

Ortberg, John; Everybody’s Normal Till You Get To Know Them. Zondervan, Grand Rapids, Mich. 2003. price 25.95 (Mem. 20.95) pp. 248. Available at Leadership Centre 800-804-0777.
Part One; NORMAL; THERE’S NO SUCH THING, DEAR.
Ch.1. The Porcupine Dilemma.
Scripture confirms that we are all weird, ‘All we have gone astray’. When everybody does it , that doesn’t mean that it is normal. Needs are normal. e.g. the need for community. The word normal is used with the definition of not having needs . Such normality would be illustrated by the new heaven and the new earth. Community is a God thing. Our problem is our porcupine characteristics. A common threat to all relationships, personal and national, is "assault and withdrawal" Dallas Willard.
Ch.2. The Wonder Of Oneness.
Loneliness is common, perhaps even epidemic. It is "the leprosy of modern society". Mother Teresa. We have been created for community. "It is better to eat Twinkies with friends than to eat broccoli alone."33. To appreciate the Trinity is to appreciate community. What is more, we have been invited to be a part of that community. From this preferred position we move out with God inspired to love others.
Ch. 3. The Fellowship Of The Mat: True Friendship.
The story of the paralyzed man with four friends is used to show the needs of those who cannot help themselves. We all have a mat. We need some roof-crashing friends. Those who have experienced deliverance from the mat are part of a special fellowship that reach out to and care deeply for other ‘mat dwellers’.
Part Two; HOW TO GET CLOSE WITHOUT GETTING HURT.
Ch.4. Unveiled Faces: Authenticity.
"The decision to sin always includes the thought that I cannot really trust God to watch out for my well-being." 69. The decision not to trust God (the original sin) resulted in losing community with God. Self-disclosure and confession are basic to authenticity.
Ch. 5. Put Down Your Stones: Acceptance.
Jesus was confronted with a mob who wanted him to endorse the stoning of a prostitute who had been caught in the act. We have ‘stone throwers’ in our churches. There can be acceptance without approval, of wrong behavior. Jesus did not condemn the lady who had sinned but he did not condone a continuation of the life style. "Go and sin no more". Acceptance like that will result in a change.
Ch.6. The Art Of Reading People: Empathy.
Much is communicated through body language. It is possible to be emotionally and relationally "tone-deaf"109. John uses the analogy of road signs to explain how people send messages that tell others what to anticipate about themselves. Some very helpful information about understanding others.
Ch. 7. Community Is Worth Fighting For: Conflict.
"The greatest crimes against the kingdom of God are crimes against love." 128. Seven specific steps for resolving conflict are identified and discussed. These are based on Matt. 18:15. With good illustrations and easy to understand vocabulary a plan is presented to resolve conflict and maintain community.
Part Three. THE SECRETS OF STRONG RELATIONSHIPS.
Ch.8. Spiritual Surgery: Forgiveness.
Forgiveness is "a kind of spiritual surgery that can remove what is toxic to the heart and make dead relationships live again". 152. The story of the unforgiving debtor (Matt. 18) is used teach principles of forgiveness. Forgiveness cannot be received if it is not given.
Ch.9. The Gift Nobody Wants: Confrontation.
Serious truth-telling involves confrontation. The story of David and Bathsheba is used to illustrate this truth. When Nathan becomes a serious truth-teller it results in a lot of chaos, not uncommon in confrontation. We need Nathans in our lives. We need confrontation.
Ch.10. Breaking Down Barriers: Inclusion.
Exclusion is a human characteristic. When inclusion is exclusive it becomes the other side of that same coin. Walls of various making, accommodate exclusion. When Jesus was responding to the Cannanite woman with the sick child some strong lessons were being taught about exclusion. Exclusion hurts those who exclude more than those who are being excluded. The love of God (Father, Son, and Holy Ghost) is "from all eternity- ceaselessly, shamelessly inclusive". 203.
Ch.11. The Secret Of A Loving Heart: Gratitude.
Receiving blessing without responding to the ‘blesser’ is an insult. An example of ingratitude and gratitude are taken from the story of Jesus being invited to Simon’s house and being ministered to by a ‘sinful’ woman while Simon was not only ungrateful, he was rude.
Ch.12. Normal At Last: Heaven.
Being ‘normal’ doesn’t happen till heaven. John helps us to get our head around the wonder and amazement of heaven and realize that this is normal. An encouraging message.
Comment. HD.
This book is really about community. John has focused on important (community) topics and illustrated them with stories from Scripture to help us get a grasp on how community works. In a style that is easy to read and vocabulary that is easy to understand truth is presented in a delightful way. Another winner by John Ortberg.