NURTURING THE LEADER IN YOUR CHILD. What Every Parent Needs To Know.

NURTURING THE LEADER IN YOUR CHILD.
What Every Parent Needs To Know.
by Tim Elmore. vice president of EQUIP, Atlanta, Georgia.
(c) 2001 Thomas Nelson pp.226 price 30.95.

PART ONE What You Need To Know.
Ch. 1 So You Want Your Child To Be A Leader.
Nine reasons are given why parents want to nurture leadership in their child (children). Regarding the challenge of parenting "we teach what we know, but we reproduce what we are". p.9. Some examples are given from history about young people who were leaders. Young people today are characterized by passion.
Ch. 2. The Millenial Generation And The Postmodern World.
A chart is presented giving a brief comparison of the present five generations. Some comparisons are made between millenials and other generations. Ten identifying characteristics are given about millenials. According to one seventeen year old, here is how they rebel. "Dress formally at all times, respect my elders, love my country, and drive a used Toyota." p.25. Millenials don’t share the values of the postmodernists, re: truth, right and wrong, etc. Inspite of the economic cost ($160,140 from birth to 18, ‘middle class’ ) it is worth it to raise a child.
Ch. 3. Becoming Relevant In Your Kid’s World.
Some of the unique aspects of today’s children are that they mature more rapidly physically (but not emotionally). They spend more time alone (t.v.,computer). Connecting is difficult because adults and children live in different worlds (cultures). Culture needs to be interpreted not rejected or accepted without questions. "It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness." p.36. Seven ways are suggested to stay relevant with kids.
Ch. 4 Gaining The Keys To Their Hearts.
There seems to be more uncertainty and challenge to parenting then there has ever been. This makes it essential that we strive for clarity in our communications. Being an effective mentor requires that parents need to be initaters not responders. "They must touch the heart before they ask for the hand."p.45. i.e. connect then communicate. Advice, etc. needs to be based on a diagnosis of needs. This involves serious listening. Guidance must avoid the extremes of tyranny and tolerance. We are to be tour guides not travel agents.
PART TWO. What They Need To Know.
Ch. 5. Painting The Primary Colors Of A Leader In Your Child. Millenials would rather fix the world than fit into it. All famous paintings begin
with primary colors. The four primary "colors of a leader" are character, perspective, courage, and favor. These need to be developed in our children. Key in this process is modeling.
Ch.6. The Natural Leader Versus The Learned Leader.
The author believes that all children should be taught leadership that is relevant. Five myths about leadership are discussed. There are five skills (activities) that result in lesdership. Six goals are suggested that should be pursued by those who would be leaders.
Ch. 7. Becomming A Person Of Influence.
Six stages of leadership are presented. Foundations, formation, fitness, fruitfulness, focus, finale. These are really the stages of a whole life of leadership.
Ch. 8. Crossing The Seven C’s To Leadership.
The seven C’s are, character, compassion, courage, competency, convictions, commitment, charisma. A brief evaluation questionaire is presented to assess one’s "influence quotient". p.113. This is based on ‘attraction assets’. A checklist is provided to help determine a child’s God-given purpose in life. Out of this inventory needs to come a life-purpose statement.
PART THREE. When To Seize The Moment.
Ch. 9. What Moses Taught Us About Teaching Our Kids..
Five major principles. 1. It dosen’t matter what you know, if you don’t know what matters. 2. The relationship is more important than the rules. 3. It has to be in you before it can be in them. 4. It’s not quantity or quality of time we spend, but quantity and quality of time. 5. What’s worth remembering is worth repeating.
Ch. 10. Daily Opportunities To Mentor Your Kids.
"Kids need adults who are present and awake." p.132. Parents need to connect with their kids four times a day. Deut. 6:7. (mealtime, travel time, bedtime, morning time).
Ch.11. Creating Memories, Capitalizing On Moments, Consuming Materials.
Memories are retrievable snapshots. The author calls turning twelve a "temple year". It needs to be treated as a special year. There are various ways of mentoring. There needs to be flexibility in the timing of that mentoring. Kids need to be encouraged to "consume" materials that will develop them, e.g. wholesome books, magazines, videos and computer games.
Ch.12. Building Your Investment Plan. Here are six key qualities for making a strong family environment. Commitment, appreciation, time together, communication, coping skilss, spiritual health. These form a secure home culture.
PART FOUR. How To Pas It On.
Ch.13. Six Gifts You Can Give Them. (as a mentor).
Give children information through stories that are easily retained. Truths need to be communicated through as many senses as possible. Provide children with ‘roadmaps’ giving them options for achieving a particular goal. Provide a place to practice principles (laboratory). Provide roots that will make for a strong foundation (core values). Give children the opportunity to soar (wings).
14. Deepening Your Influence In Their Lives.
This requires a deliberate investment of time and being real. Demonstrate genuine faith in them and practice the art of listening. Work hard at understanding them. Encourage. They do need guidance in a culture that preaches, ‘do your own thing’. Our kids need "concern, care, and compassion". p.197. We need to demonstrate genuine enthusiasm.
Ch. 15. The Big Idea.
There are four things children need to get to become leaders. In a life-related context they need instruction, modeling, experience, and evaluation.
Ch. 16. The Mentor’s Equation. Children need an example to imitate. The most obvious one would be the parents. Mentoring involves relationship, giving, risks, appreciation, and expectations.

Comments
There is a high "John Maxwell" flavor in the principles taught in this book. Not a surprise from a disciple. Elmore teaches that all children should be exposed to leadership teaching even though many will be followers. A helpful book for those who refuse to go on a guilt trip about not doing it right. This book is very into self worth and a positive self image which is basic to leadership. I recommend this book for parents, grandparents, and those who work with children.